


Scars

by Loopstagirl



Series: Camelot_Drabble [18]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-11-21 09:29:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/596163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loopstagirl/pseuds/Loopstagirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin loved every inch of him. Something that Arthur wasn't sure he deserved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Camelot_Drabble Prompt: Scars

“W…wait…stop.”

Arthur’s hands moved down to tangle in Merlin’s hair, pushing him back. Merlin pulled off with a soft “pop”, yet his hand didn’t stop from where he had been working Arthur’s shirt up his stomach. The blond was lying on his back, enough of his jeans open for Merlin to take his cock in his mouth, but that was all. Merlin, on the other hand, was completely naked.

“You don’t want to do this?”

“No, I do, I really do…” Arthur wasn’t sure how he was able to see straight from where he was so turned on, but let one hand drift from Merlin’s hair to his hand. “Just not this.”

Indicating where Merlin’s fingers were brushing across his stomach under his shirt as he continued to push it upright, Arthur gave Merlin an apologetic smile. They had been together for months, ever since Merlin had rescued him from Cendred. They had fucked in numerous different ways, Arthur being pleased to know that the creep hadn’t done any lasting damage to his desire to lie with other men. But for a reason that Arthur had never voiced, he flatly refused to be naked. He thought that he was ready when Merlin’s hand had snuck under his shirt, but when he thought about what he would find under there…

“Arthur? You still with me?”

“Yeah, I…” Arthur sighed, shaking his head and pushing Merlin off completely. Swinging his legs over the bed, he rested his elbows on his knees and bent forward. He was still with Merlin, but Merlin wouldn’t still want to be with him if he ever saw what lay under Arthur’s clothing. How could he, he was a constant reminder of a weak and pathetic person, someone that hadn’t even been able to fight back…

“Hey, it’s okay,” Merlin’s voice was murmuring softly in his ears as a hand rubbed up and down between his shoulder blades. “You know I’m always going to be here. We can take it slow.”

“It’s not that,” Arthur protested. He didn’t want Merlin to think it was about the sex, for it really wasn’t. That was the one thing that made Arthur feel like he was actually someone worth loving when Merlin made him see stars. Cendred had never done that. Sex with Cendred had always been about the other man’s pleasure… in all the perverse ways that had got the man off. _That_  was where the problem lay.

“Then what? Don’t shut me out, Arthur. What is it that you don’t want me seeing?”

Arthur gave a half sob at the fact that Merlin clearly knew what had Arthur reacting. He knew that this somehow stemmed down to the fact that Arthur didn’t want to be naked. He shook his head and Merlin moved away.

“Wait…” Arthur flinched at how much his voice was shaking, but he knew that he had to tell Merlin. They would never move on if he didn’t. Very slowly, he pulled up his shirt, hearing Merlin’s sharp intake of breath.

“How..?”

_Arthur was on his back, hands cuffed to the headboard as Cendred thrust violently between his legs, not caring that his partner hadn’t been prepared enough. All he cared about was claiming, making sure that Arthur knew to whom he belonged._

_“Such a slut, Pendragon. A wanton filthy whore, always begging for me, aren’t you?” Arthur hadn’t answered, too busy trying to distract himself from the pain from where Cendred was slamming into him. He should have known, he had smelt the alcohol on the other man as soon as he had got in earlier that day._

_“And whores deserve to be punished. You deserve to be punished, don’t you, my little pet?” Arthur let out something that could resemble a sob as Cendred drew a knife. His breathing was erratic and terrified as it came to stop in the centre of his navel, gleaming in the dim light._

_“I’m only doing this to help you, love. You know that, know that I’ll look after you.”_

_Arthur had been able to do nothing but scream as the blade bit into his skin. Cendred forced in one more time and came, his cock pulsing as Arthur’s blood began to flow._

_That had just been the first time._

“Oh, Arthur.” Arthur didn’t realise Merlin had moved until there was a thumb brushing away the tears trickling down his face. “You think that you couldn’t show me that, that I would…”

“Think less of me? Think that I don’t deserve someone like you? You would be right in thinking it, I don’t.”

“Stop it, Arthur, stop that right now. What Cendred did to you was cruel and sadistic, but it was no way your fault, we talked about this. I love you.”

“How can you…”

“I love every inch of you, Arthur Pendragon. Every single inch.” Keeping the eye contact, Merlin dipped his head and began kissing along one of the scars that littered Arthur’s torso. Arthur’s breath caught and he knew that the tears were flowing again.

“These make you who you are, and never feel like you have to hide yourself away from me. The only scar that I worry about is the one in here.” Merlin sat back up, pressing a kiss to Arthur’s forehead. His hand entangled itself into Arthur’s hair and their foreheads rested together.

“Don’t ever let him come between us, not again.”

Arthur found himself nodding, letting his head rest on Merlin’s shoulder as his love stroked his hair soothingly. Maybe Merlin was right, maybe he should stop hiding away?

But right now, he was content with Merlin hiding him away from the rest of the world, keeping him warm and safe. Those scars might never fade, but maybe the one in his mind would over time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time was passing, and maybe it was time enough to start healing?  
> This was written for the Camelot_Drabble prompt: healing, and I thought I'd continue this story arc.

_Arthur was cooking dinner, humming to himself as he stirred the pasta and waited for his boyfriend to get home. He was starving, but he didn’t want to eat without Cendred. The mood the man had been in lately, Arthur wasn’t quite sure what the reaction would be. He could handle it, he was sure of that, but something was certainly changing. Cendred was no longer the man he had agreed to move in with._

_“Arthur?”_

_“Kitchen,” he called back, glancing over his shoulder as the man in question walked in. Arthur made sure he kept an eye on the food though, knowing it was almost done and not wanting to start again. Cendred made a strange harrumph noise under his breath and came closer, his hands wrapping around Arthur’s waist. Arthur turned to kiss him, only for Cendred to lean back out of his reach. His hands, however, worked Arthur’s jeans open and his hand slipped inside, quickly working his partner to hardness._

_“Cen, the food… It will burn…” Cendred growled irritably, flicking his wrist so that Arthur’s knees gave way and he was leaning back on the man, helpless to resist as Cendred leant over and turned the hob off. As the boiling water cooled, Arthur realised that he was no longer reacting under Cendred’s ministrations. He was hungry, and he didn’t want to be doing this now. When he said so, however, Cendred simply chuckled and licked his neck before sinking his teeth in. Arthur yelped in pain as Cendred’s hand yet again returned to its task and it didn’t matter that Arthur was trying to push him away, his body was reacting. Cendred knew him well._

_He was in somewhat of  a daze when the man pulled his hand out, not giving Arthur the release he was so close to getting but simply tugging on his arm and leading him to the lounge. Arthur stumbled along, a voice in the back of his mind screaming at him. He had told Cendred he didn’t want to._

_Cendred pulled him close, shimmying his jeans down his legs this time. Arthur let his hand rest on the man’s chest, keeping distance between them._

_“Not tonight, Cen. I’m hungry and tired, I just want to crash.”_

_“So?”_

_“Cendred? Wha-? No! What are you doing, I don’t want to!” Arthur’s heart sped up in fear as Cendred grabbed his arms, turning him over and using his bigger build to force Arthur to his knees, bending him over the arm of the chair._

_“I don’t care what you want, I do.”_

_“Stop it…” Arthur struggled to get up but Cendred had hold of the back of his neck with one hand and his dick in the other. Arthur could only let out an anguished cry as his so called boyfriend pushed in with no preparation. The only saving grace was that Cendred had obviously been working himself up to this and it didn’t last long before he was pulling out._

_Arthur simply slid to the floor, tears streaming down his face as his hands shook. Cendred shook his head._

_“They told me you were strong. Think about telling anyone and you know what will happen, you know how far my influence goes. I would say maybe you should go to the police, but oh look…” He bent forward, plundering Arthur’s mouth. “I am the police.”_

_He pulled back and stood up, fixing his clothing. Arthur tried to follow suit and took a shaky step towards the kitchen._

_“Where do you think you are going? Go to bed, Arthur.”_

_“I haven’t eaten.”_

_“Go to bed!” Cendred’s roar filled Arthur’s head and he fled._

“Arthur? Sweetheart, wake up, you’re having a bad dream.”

Arthur jolted awake, tears streaming down his face and flailed for a moment. His breathing finally calmed down and he glanced over the bed to see Merlin watching him. The ache on his face made Arthur feel guilty. He knew Merlin wanted to help, but they both knew he couldn’t approach until Arthur calmed down. The first time he had a nightmare in Merlin’s presence had taught them that lesson. He took a few shaky breaths and collapsed back on the pillow, giving a nod.

Merlin instantly scooted across, gently wiping the tears away.

“What was it?”

“The first time,” Arthur muttered hoarsely, curling up and folding himself into Merlin’s chest. The man stroked his hair soothingly, dropping a light kiss onto it.

“You know you are safe, don’t you?” Arthur nodded, knowing Merlin would feel it even if he couldn’t see it. It wasn’t just that Cendred was gone now, behind bars and never able to hurt him again. It was that any time he was even in the same room as Merlin, let alone being held by him, safety just radiated around him. The two men were silent for a moment and Arthur found that he was beginning to drift back to sleep, the comforting thud of Merlin’s heartbeat under his ear calming his own. Just as he went, a thought occurred to him.

“Merlin?” Arthur’s voice was soft and quiet and his fingers traced light patterns on Merlin’s stomach, watching it react under his touch as he brushed a sensitive spot.

“Yes, love?”

“That was the first one in two months.” He didn’t need to look to see Merlin’s answering grin. Six months ago, Arthur awoke screaming every night. Sheer exhaustion put a strain on their relationship and Arthur nearly lost Merlin, spurring him to finally get help. As soon as he stopped snapping at everyone and everything, Merlin had found a way back into his life and now Arthur couldn’t think of it any other way.

“You’re getting there, sweetheart. You’re getting there.”

Smiling against Merlin’s chest and letting sleep claim him properly, Arthur could only agree. It had taken a long time, far too long for him to be happy with, but Merlin was right. It seemed that he was beginning to finally heal.


End file.
